The fear of failure is the monster we all know; who can’t relate to the proverbial nightmare of showing up to school naked. But what if we’re confident in our skills? Yet we’re still quietly playing a small game. Why?
What do we think about luck? Some people approach life like everything is a random occurrence. Others think of luck as an essence that can be influenced or supplicated. But how do our ideas about luck influence our future?
A sense that “I have to do this alone” is rooted in our fragility and also our strength. Relationships are fragile, including our relationship with ourselves. New identities are fragile, too – not fragile like glass but fragile like babies.
If you know what you want to pursue, if something inside of you says, “I think I can do this,” then it’s up to you to honor that intuition. Learn to manage the uncomfortable feelings of beginning again. Chose to embrace a growth mindset. Show up and do the work.
Failure prep is an important part of the coaching conversation because it expands our comfort zone. Hypothetical questions addressing failure sound like, “What if it doesn’t work out the way you wish? And if you fail, what will you do? How do you want it to be?”
We are always appraising the world around us. People, circumstances, risk, opportunities . . . the ability to accurately appraise a situation is necessary to life. And yet, we are so prone to drawing the wrong conclusions.
Here’s what I see as I reflect on the landscape of speaking out today. I see a greater need to build the muscle of holding deeper, not just broader, conversations. And we need training and practical skill building around how to do this with honesty and compassion.
Listen. Here’s the deal. You must do what thrills you. That is what you must do. And you must learn how to do it with mastery so that you do not act impulsively and ruin your life, or someone else’s, while seeking thrills you’ll later regret.
This view, the 30,000-foot perspective, is called the “meta-view.” It’s the big picture removed from the tangled mess of reality. The meta-view focus brings clarity to what may seem chaotic or confusing from the ground, or, you know, at the level of experience we call “life.”
Your skills got you a foot in the door. Your skills are what everyone reads on your resume. What you have the opportunity to demonstrate in an interview is character, mindset, motivation, and shared values. Your interview is about demonstrating your humanity.
Energy isn’t something that we consciously notice or speak about very often. In fact, it sounds pretty woo-woo to lots of people because it’s not a thing that can be calibrated and measured. (I mean, why not toss in crystals and astrology, too, because that’s where it feels like we’re headed?!)
I love the idea of percentages as a communication tool in any kind of partnership. It’s like shorthand for a bunch of complex human phenomena all smooshed into a simple number. Sure, a percentage is not the whole story, but it’s a swift way to get to its core.
What happens to our goals when life gets messy? You defined your trajectory – you can see it so clearly – but then an unexpected promotion gets tossed your way. Or someone you love gets sick. Or your salary is cut. Or you simply get fuzzy on what you wanted in the first place.
The idea is the opposite of what I suggested last week, that New Year’s Resolutions need serious infrastructure beneath them to become reality. I still believe that’s true about the infrastructure part, but I don’t want to suggest the discipline of planning should squash dreams.
I’ve been asking people in my life about their New Year’s Resolutions because I love talking about goals and dreams. I love that in our culture, we have a calendar marker to collectively look at the lives we’re leading, and the lives we want to make.